Autumn Change

I started this blog on the 3rd of January 2017. I started with a post explaining my decision to take a stab at this blogging thing (A Decision Made). I never could have imagined how much this seemingly small move could have impacted on my life, but three months later, looking back, it was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

Anyone who knows me will attest that I am negative and pessimistic by nature. I have been this way for as long as I can remember, probably due to the fact that I have always been mature for my age and overly responsible, and because of this I tend to put all my energy into others, instead of myself. This had always been normal for me so I didn’t realize that by the end of last year I was so run down, so uninspired and so miserable that I had become intolerable to be around. Even after the people closest to me mentioned it I still couldn’t see how depressed I had become.

It wasn’t until a long much-needed break at the end of last year that I began to see clearly again. I saw the damage I was doing to myself but I had no idea where to begin to fix it.

My partner had suggested I start a blog for the last few years, and I had toyed with the idea but:

  1. what if people hate it (and/or me)
  2. i can’t write or take photos
  3. i’m too busy
  4. it will be difficult
  5. it’s a mission
  6. it’s a lot of work
  7. i won’t succeed
  8. rinse & repeat

But I took the plunge anyway. I put myself first and tried something new. And looking back on it now, I honestly don’t know why I had any of those thoughts to begin with.

This is my space. I can work on it when, where and how I want. I like what it looks like and what it stands for. I don’t have any deadlines unless I make them. I own it and all the content on it. I decide. I choose.

This sense of creative freedom, ownership and control over something that is completely and wholly mine has changed my mental state completely. This has filtered down into other facets of my life, changing my perspective, my prospects, my feelings about myself and, most importantly, making me look forward, up and out. And my goodness I am enjoying the view.

So without sounding preachy; put yourself first and start that thing, go to that class, learn that language, go for a walk. Start small, start somewhere. Because you never know what it might do for you, and in turn what might be right around the corner.

All content, views and images are my own unless otherwise stated.